A few years ago I wrote a piece for a Canadian website called "Hissyfit." Browsing through their today I came upon a gem of a piece describing the contributions of France to modern culture.

Oh, and here was my piece.

2 words:

Fu** you.

This is my French contribution to your well-being.

A very nice piece indeed, you should write books...

You know what ?? You should park us like the american natives !

I'm curious, to see what you would do in front of me ? Slap me ? shoot me ? Would it pleases you to slap someone because you hate him for futile reasons ??

It's well known that we don't do anything good in this world.
For example : I live in a city where we build the most powerful microchips in the world, so you can post some message on the web thanks to that...

If you don't like our way of life that's your problem, actually I don't watch the Oscars or the superbowl but I don't criticize yours. With have great singers, painters, cookers etc... in france but you don't even pay attention to them because you locked youself in a simple vision of my country where everything is bad, smelly and disgusting.

Seriously Jamie, you should go out of your house sometime

I live in a city where we build the most powerful microchips in the world, so you can post some message on the web thanks to that...

Which plant is that? Just curious. And for balance, you should know that slapping the French is not actually encouraged even figuratively; in fact, the US military apparently has a few special rules to protect the French.

20. Must not taunt the French any more.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.

Doug :

Which plant ? A research center in Grenoble (I don't know which one... I'm going to look for the name). I live in a valley which can look like a sort of Silicon Valley in Research and Informatics. A new huge plant has been built last year and the city (and its suburbs) became one of the most important electronic pole of the world.

I said that just to prove that we are sometime able to do something useful.. :)

I don't know what's your opinion about these rules but it's kind of painful to know that one had to create these rules !

Jamie

Sometimes I find your contributions blunt, not well thought out, and obvious.
This contribution is not one of those times. This Hissyfit is spot on and accurate. Keep up the good work.

First, Stéphane says:

I live in a city where we build the most powerful microchips in the world, so you can post some message on the web thanks to that...

THEN, Stéphane says:

A research center in Grenoble (I don't know which one... I'm going to look for the name). I live in a valley which can look like a sort of Silicon Valley in Research and Informatics. A new huge plant has been built last year and the city (and its suburbs) became one of the most important electronic pole of the world.

Notice how the first statement was an emphatic "ours are the best" sentiment, while the second statement, solicited as support for the former, reveals the truth - that Stéphane doesn't really know what processor and/or what fab, and thus cannot logically know whether it produces the "most powerful microchips in the world."

Now I'm not calling Stéphane a liar at all. I will however point out the French propensity to:

1.) Believe whatever propaganda they are told by their overlords

2.) Take pride in their ignorance

3.) Feel as though they constantly have to prove their perceived superiority to the world whether or not their claims are true

4.) Make assertions without having the facts or doing the research a priori

5.) Think that a single counterexample (of dubious origin) nullifies an entire debate. (France does NOT stink and we are not cowards and our political leaders should legally control the fate of the galaxy because we make microchips that do really cool things, and they're way better than everybody else's!)

I hope your toes are not sore after that, Stéphane - it's nothing personal at all, I assure you. Just a simple sociological commentary.

Beo :

According to you : proving that we can be useful is like proving we are the best ?? I paid attention to your points and think you should stop talking like that, that's not a way to prove that we are assholes (forgive my coarse language).

I think this debate is taking a weird form... I don't think that a sociology University will take consideration of you thesis !

Ive never that a thing to prove we "are the best" of course we're not ! But I should have said that because it would be as stupid as Jamie's point (french are useless and don't do anything good).

Stéphane: you made an assertion, and I quote: "I live in a city where we build the most powerful microchips in the world"

Now that you have told us the city (Grenoble), please kindly provide the specific information as to WHAT chips you are talking about AND provide evidence of some form that these are in fact the "most powerful microchips in the world."

<rant>
Why am I harping on this? Like I said, to point out how flimsy French arguments are, and how freely they fling about superlatives in their poorly structured assertions. Does this particular fact (regarding microchips) matter at all? No, but I want Stéphane to take accountability for his statements. If he spouts out a "fact" about a microchip fab in his city and doesn't know anything more about it than "they are the most powerful in the world," then how can anybody possibly take anything he says about world politics seriously? He seems proud of this "fact," but doesn't even know enough about the subject to discuss it in specifics. This seems to encapsulate French pride/arrogance into a microcosm of blissful ignorance, and ignorant self-superiority. He is either trying to BS and impress us with vapid assertions thinking that we will not check up on what he says, or he really believes what he's saying because somebody BSed and impressed him with vapid assertions thinking (correctly) that he would not check up on what they said. Either way, it's indicative of the mentality of so many Europeans when it comes to debating.
</rant>

Your argument is quite simple Beo: WE can't do know wrong, we're on God's side! (sure, it's damn convenient to sometimes align ourselves with the wrong people, prop-up dictators, look the other way while making a killing etc... Enron, Exxon and Halliburton are such GREAT, unselfish, caring companies!) but hey...

LET'S JUST BLAME THE FRENCH!

by the way, Beo, you must be completely clueless if you think your 5 points don't apply to you (Americans such as YOURSELF - note that I refrain from generalizing, you ought to try it) according to the world's majority. Polls were taken asking who is the "most arrogant nation" in the world. I for one don't necessarly put much weight in that(I'm sure you would if France was ranked at the top), but it is telling nonetheless. And please, don't always single-out France for your own sense of persecution. THAT'S simple minded.

"Perceived superiority"? Beo, we're not the ones who wrap ourselves in the flag with ad-nauseum references to "God" as if He were a Yank, or refer to "Freedom" as if it was our exclusive right ( "They're jaleous of our Freedom" - brilliant).

Hey Stephane...the best thing you can do for your country is to not try to defend it. The people who respond to your postings are just going to make you look stupid because they have nothing better to do than rip you a new one. Besides, you're not going to change anyone's mind about the French being worthless (because they are).

Charles Martel - 10th century French ruler and military man: Kicked the shit out of fanatical Moslems sweeping through western Europe.

O the irony

Lavoisier - father of modern chemistry

Moreno - Inventor of the "Smart Card".