The French believe their national character possesses a natural and profound endowment for philosophy. If philosophy were nothing more than bathetic clichés thrown into the cerebral blender and poured out the nose, well, we'd have to give the point to the French.

Nowhere is this pretentious French notion of Frenchness more richly, more risibly in evidence than in official French pronouncements on war and peace.

1. "...France has convictions. She considers that war is always the worst solution..."

Jack Chirac, Paris, 16 March 2003

This is the sort of pretentious hooey dished up on afternoon television. They ought to turn off Oprah at the Quai d'Orsay and read some French history.

2. "I wish to reiterate here that for France war can only be the last resort, and collective responsibility, the rule."

Dom de Villepin (French Foreign Minister at the time), New York, March 19, 2003

But French rules for everyone else don't apply to big French mistakes.

3. [Prompted by what he had just heard, a reporter asked whether the Foreign Minister hoped American and British forces would win the military campaign to remove Saddam Hussein.] "I'm not going to answer. You have not been listening carefully to what I said before. You already have the answer."

Dom de Villepin (French Foreign Minister at the time), London, March 28, 2003

4. "France, like all the democracies, welcomes the collapse of Saddam Hussein's dictatorship and is hoping for a swift and effective end to the fighting."

Communique from the Presidency of the Republic, Paris, 10 April 2003

5. "We consider that all military action not endorsed by the international community, through, in particular, the Security Council, was both illegitimate and illegal, is illegitimate and illegal. And we have not changed our view on that."

Jack Chirac, Évian-les-Bains, 3 June 2003

How's this for international unanimity: in recognition of the "illegitimacy" and "illegality" of the liberation of Iraq not one nation declared itself for Saddam's Iraq. Not one nation marshalled forces for the defense of Saddam's Iraq. France stood by watching what she understood to be illegitimate and illegal acts and did nothing. Showy French hand-wringing is the joke that the French just don't get.

6. "I would say if you look at the United States on one side, the Europeans on the other side, there are two important differences. The first one is the word "war" against terrorism -- because of course America is at war, and really at war. In Europe, there was solidarity -- there still is solidarity -- but we don't use the word "war." We most of the time say it's a fight -- a fight not against "terrorism" with an "m," but against "terrorists." It is more than a nuance. The choice of words is never meaningless. Living in the United States I see that the people of America is really at war. When you travel in Europe, you don't have the same feeling. And it explains a lot when you consider Iraq."

Jean-David Levitte (French ambassador to the United States), Washington, 10 October 2003

M. Levitte is the honorable French plenipotentiary and crybaby to the United States of America. His above twaddle reveals an unintended truth: The French are clueless.

7. "It's on the really strong orders of the president of the republic (Jacques Chirac) that the government declares war on racism, on all racism."

Justice Minister Dominique Perben, Paris, 23 August 2004

Always a bad sign when Jack escalates his tough talk. As we've detailed elsewhere (here for instance), Jack huffs and puffs and things just get worse.

And finally this:

8. "For how long will the world accept this tragedy that is crushing lives and peoples, that does damage to the development and stability of a region that is essential for the security of all, that is creating a gulf of resentment and lack of understanding between cultures, civilizations, religions? ... It is essential that the international community assume its responsibilities... [must] take stock of the disastrous results of its inaction and free itself of its false caution. ... We must encourage, maybe even impose the resumption of a negotiations process between the parties. .... Now we must move forward, as peace is possible. The world can no longer wait for goodwill on one side or the other."

Jack Chirac, Paris, 27 August 2004

Having declared war on racism, Jack now declares the imposition of peace in the Middle East. But Jack isn't here addressing the UN, he's addressing a gaggle of French envoys. Where is Jack's UN resolution? Where is Jack's fulsome UN coalition for what is nothing less than the occupation of the sovereign democratic state of Israel? Sounds both illegal and illegitimate to us, q.v. No.5.

[Having swanned into an English language blog, this correspondent can't be bothered with English when addressing her English-speaking audience. She repeats Jack's complaint that America has opened a Pandora's box. Typically French, both she and Jack have a defective appreciation of the myth.

Pandora was presented to Epimetheus, who had:

... in his house a jar, in which were kept certain noxious articles for which, in fitting man for his new abode, he had had no occasion. Pandora was seized with an eager curiosity to know what this jar contained; and one day she slipped off the cover and looked in. Forthwith there escaped a multitude of plagues for hapless man - such as gout, rheumatism, and colic for his body, and envy, spite, and revenge for his mind - and scattered themselves far and wide. Pandora hastened to replace the lid! but, alas! the whole contents of the jar had escaped, one thing only excepted, which lay at the bottom, and that was hope. So we see at this day, whatever evils are abroad, hope never entirely leaves us; and while we have that, no amount of other ills can make us completely wretched.

Claire, should you not feel stirred to English in your next post, it will be excised. -- Editor]

Je n'ai pas envie de parler anglais ou américain pour répondre à ça, vous devrez vous contenter de votre indifférence ou d'un traducteur automatique. Mais qu'espérez vous prouver ? Qu'espérez vous donc prouver ? Vous ne croyez pas que n'importe quel Français pourrait en faire autant, une liste d'accusations subjectives et haineuses contre les USA ? Croyez qu'il n'y a pas matière, dans votre attitude, à faire un pamphlet ? Les Français en ont marre, voilà tout, en ont marre de vos réactions basiques. Si la guerre n'est pas la worst solution, alors qu'elle est t elle ? regardez ce bourbier, cette boîte de Pandore que vous avez ouverte ! Ces artistes Holywoodien qui militent pour le retour à la paix alors qu'il y a quelques mois ils conspuaient la France et ses opinions pacifiques. Comment pouvez vous qualifier la guerre ? Juste, propre, nécessaire ? Une boucherie héroïque, plus de 1000 morts de votre côtés, et des milliers, de l'autre. A quoi sert ce site ? Vous êtes méprisable. Rien d'autre à dire.