Oh. No. Sorry. That's backwards. But we are not the only ones who've gotten this story ass-backwards:

SYRIAN DRIVER ALLEGES TORTURE BY U.S.

Muhamed al-Joundi, a Syrian driver who was taken hostage in Iraq last August with two French journalists, filed a lawsuit Tuesday against the U.S. military, alleging bad treatment and torture, his lawyer's office said.

The lawsuit filed in a Paris court names U.S. Gen. John Sattler, commander of the 1st Marine Expeditionary Force in Fallujah, the office of lawyer Jacques Verges said.

In mid-December, when the initial complaint was filed, his brother-in-law Ali Mehrebi said, "For seven to eight days, he was really treated badly. They refused to let him contact his family to announce he was in good health. They refused to give him medicine."

Alleged undescribed torture and alleged bad treatment! Hhhmm, let's compare what must be the seven or eight worst days of Mr. al-Joundi's life in American detention with his 83-day holiday as the guest of the Islamic Army of Iraq as described by Mr. al-Joundi himself to the French paper, Libération (Hat tip: truthout):

"Georges [Malbrunot] and I were both thrown in the trunk. ... [T]he guards locked us in a first room, a sort of cell, recently constructed and conceived as a prison, with an iron door and enclosed toilets. It was very dirty, with a lot of mosquitoes. I even killed a scorpion. It was very hot. We slept on the floor, without a mattress. The light was on all the time. In this cell, there were four other hostages, two Czechs, one of whom was wounded in the leg, and their Iraqi chauffeur, who had had his jaw smashed by a bullet. But no one had taken care of him. It was very hard. There was also a bodyguard of former Transitional Government Minister Ahmed Chalabi, who had been put in place by the Americans. ... He was wounded in the shoulder and had grenade shrapnel in one leg.

"We were never mistreated, insulted, or beaten. But for two weeks, we ate only slimy, unseasoned gumbos. Fortunately, as of the second day, Sunday, Georges, Christian and I were transferred to a three star room in the farm's main building. There were no beds; the room was tiny; but it was clean and there were just the three of us. ...

"The guards tied me up and took me out of the room. I heard people talking with Georges and Christian, telling them that the Islamic Army included 5000 fighters and that the French government must abrogate its law prohibiting the veil in school or else they would be killed. When I returned, I learned that they had been filmed in front of a movement banner.

"Our morale was at zero. Georges, in particular, was pessimistic. I tried to reassure him, telling him that it was only a publicity stunt; that other, more material, demands would follow. Christian considered it all in context since the Islamic Army is not a homogeneous organization with a strong religious base. Rather, it's a regrouping of scattered cells, made up of former soldiers who know one another through family or other relationships, and who decided to work together. Kidnappings, with the ransoms they get out of them, allow them to finance resistance operations. For some officers, the references to Islam serve to legitimize their actions to the populace. For the peasants holding us, Islam is the sole credible ideology. ...

"After two weeks of detention...we understood that we were going to be separated and that we were facing problems. We were all in very bad shape. We saluted one another, but I don't remember any more what words we exchanged. It was an extremely hard moment; I thought only of survival. The leader repeated his threats. They left. I haven't seen them since.

"Ten days later, in the morning, another group came to get me. Bound and blindfolded, I was thrown into the trunk of a car. ... After a little more than two weeks, I was moved to a new hiding place. An Islamic Army official came to tell me that I would be freed in a few days. I wept with gratitude. But then I arrived in a house full of fighters. Their leader was some kind of uncultivated brute, nasty and insulting. He had me chained in a room, stretched out with my face against the wall. It was the hardest period of my detention. During Ramadan, when the fast was broken, he'd have me brought cold soup, with congealed fat on the top. Tea was also served cold. He came to interrogate me about Georges and Christian. He asked me whether they were Jewish, whether they were spies. He paced my room like a caged tiger, but he never hit me. His insults were a lot more painful than blows. When I talk about it today, I'm still nervous."

After Mr. al-Joundi's release by this captors he teamed up with a young man.

"Finally, we found refuge in an abandoned house where another teenager was already sheltering. There were a few dates and some water in the kitchen. We stayed there, waiting for the arrival of coalition soldiers. ... A group of Marines finally searched the house where we were hiding. They threw us on the ground and tied us up. Then they dragged us to their position in a destroyed building. They mistreated us some along the way, but I would have happily given them a million dollars for restoring my life.

"Delivered before a Sergeant-major, I introduced myself as an escaped hostage. He interrogated me rather harshly for an hour, alone, in a room. Then a captain arrived, a translator, who congratulated me on my liberation. He gave the order to have me untied and asked whether I would agree to be photographed by reporters. I wept with joy for a half-hour because I knew I was rescued now and that the press knew about my existence. Then, around 3 o'clock in the morning, I was driven to the hospital. I stayed there under observation for two days before being transferred to a prison. Once again, I underwent several interrogations by FBI agents or agents from a similar organization for five days. I didn't suffer because I knew I was at the end of the story.

"One morning, an officer came to tell me they were about to free me. They couldn't take us to Baghdad because the road was not safe. I was with a small group of prisoners. They gave us each 20 dollars and a little speech, assuring us that they were very sorry about arresting us in error, then they let us go at 5PM in Al-Zakhlauiyah."

Let's see, Mr. al-Joundi is discovered in a war zone and handled brusquely by U.S. Marines, but would gladly have paid a million dollars for the privilege. Then, having no papers, he is questioned harshly. Then at the inhumane hour of 3:00A he is packed off to a hospital where his health is monitored for two days. Then more questioning, which Mr. al-Joundi says caused no mental or emotional or physical suffering. Later he receives an apology from an American officer for his detention and is given $20 to make his way back to Baghdad.

Mr. al-Joundi, we understand you are a delicate rose and though your claim is short on torture, the bad treatment is credible. Our own independent research can sadly confirm the following bad treatments routinely suffered by those detained by American troops in war zones:

1. No effort made to provide unlimited cable access.
2. Only two choices of dessert. One choice is always tiramisu.
3. Poorly stocked wine cellar with no Coeur De Lion Calvados Pomme Prisonniere.
4. Table settings with badly balanced shrimp forks.
5. Scratchy serviettes, poorly starched and folded in artless arrangements.
6. Bedsheets and pillow cases with mismatched floral patterns.
7. Detainee's heavy terrycloth robes not mongrammed.
8. Limited toiletries and zero cucumber exfoliants or vitamin-enriched herbal scrubs.
9. No express checkout.
10. Detainee's head chopped off.

Oh. Sorry. That last one is a persistent and embarrassing lapse in hospitality by terrorist kidnappers, which sadly mars their otherwise impeccable record of congenial welcome. Well, that and rape and beatings and constant physical threats and gratuitous insults and general deprivations and the kidnapping itself.

Which leads us to wonder if Mr. al-Joundi will be filing suit against the Islamic Army of Iraq also. No, Mr. al-Joundi is a donkey and media tool and the Islamic Army of Iraq are his new best buds.

Why does Al-Jundi, a Syrian citizen and suing on his own (his attorney being a known slimebag and French , I'll admit), seem to bother Pave? And besides, after the Abu-Grahib gigantic faux-pas, who is the most likely to be beleived, seriously?

M. Zmx,

You seem to enjoy demonstrating that you are a careless reader.

The answers to your questions are in the topic as posted and its links.

Mr. al-Joundi's claim interests us because of the weather-change in his account after taking up residence in France. Mr. al-Joundi's claim also interests us because he is filing his claim in a Paris court. We are curious on what grounds such a court claims jurisdiction for a non-national -- Mr. al-Joundi is a Syrian -- for alleged actions abroad.

As to who should be believed, if you had read Mr. al-Joundi's own account in Libération, he has contradicted or confounded his claims of alleged torture and bad treatment. (Bad treatment? Perhaps Mr. al-Joundi confused the United States Army for hoteliers. He has all but confounded the Islamic Army of Iraq with the Sisters of Mercy.) Who is to be believed? As it is too much for you to discern, I will spell it out. Someone who gives an account of his personal experiences for a newspaper, going on public record, then several weeks later gives a wholly contradictory account of those same experiences in a court brief, M. Zmx, such a person cannot be relied on for a truthful telling. Seriously.

As for Abu Ghraib, only a franchouille would swan into these threads and chide us on humane treatment to be exercised by troops abroad. Here's a quick scorecard: Number of Abu Ghraib detainees killed by American abuse: 0; number of unarmed Ivorian citizens killed by French troops: ~60. Add this to the scorecard: Apology for AG abuse issued by the United States president; denial by French government of civilian shootings, then begrudged admission though not in accord with the number killed and eye witness accounts, no apology. Isn't this the sort of apples-and-oranges relativism you prefer in argument?

And, of course, France has gotten pretty much a free pass here on her miserable conduct in Algeria. Something we will explore more thoroughly in the new year. Thanks for reminding us. Seriously.

Regards,
DGB

Somehow I knew zoomer was going to be the author of the Frog's point of view with this story.

putting leashes on muslim prisoners is such a gross act of torture that I'm sure America will need constant reminding of in 2005 by various frogs. Considering Saddam used to put metal spikes into toes of Abu Graib prisoners, I'd have to say America is clearly the dark side on this issue.

Next, zoomer-idiot will be lecturing Americans on how our SUV's caused the tsunami.

But America is supposed to be on God's side, isn't it?

Tssk tssk.

I can't help but notice ZoomZoom that you fail to address Damien's response to you with an enlightened reply. Instead you give a one liner any Troll would love.

Do you reside in a total mental vacumn. Put aside the fact that anyone who publicly relates 2 versions of a single event is an obvious liar in at least one instance. Please explain how a Syrian national sues the US military in a French court for actions that occured in Iraq. What is the precise explanation for this courts jurisdiction in the matter in question.

Please speak plainly and directly to the matter at hand, you see many people feel the French don't really have a defendable position and are just being small and petty. This is a golden opportunity for you to dispell that perception.

"Badly balanced shrimp forks?"

DGB, your stuff is wasted here.

As for expecting Zoomer to responde with thoughtfulness, I hope your question was only rhetorical.

Going way back on this site, Zoomer, after his initial fiesty appearance here, soon discovered that whenever he posited a fact that he had 'learned' in the French press in support of one of his lame arguments he was quickly, and without mercy, disabused of its veracity. You should have heard him blather on about poverty in the US. Or how Bush killed Kyoto, or how ... well, you get the idea.

Since that time, has has been hiding under a rock, tossing vague opinions with the one virtue that they cannot be attacked directly and forcefully on grounds of logic or truthfulness since they are without substance.

Sorry, I didn't make it clear that the bulk of my post was intened for the yeti.

At one point he had almost learned that nothing America does can excuse anything France does, though. I call that progress.