Building on a theme, Jack has surveyed the current state of the EU and assessed where meaningful sacrifices can be made:

"We [scil., France] cannot accept a reduction of direct aid to French farmers," Mr Chirac said after talks with Jean-Claude Juncker, the Luxembourg prime minister, and current holder of the EU's rotating presidency.

This pronouncement by Jack is both the French position and, conveniently, the whole of the French argument: a big "no can do". But there are those in a position to make sacrifices, and Jack knows who:

BLAIR REBUKES CHIRAC IN ROW OVER BRITISH REBATE

Tony Blair yesterday traded cross-Channel blows with Jacques Chirac, the French president, after deciding to toughen up his defence of the £3 billion-a-year rebate on Britain's contributions to the European Union's budget.

In language reminiscent of the Anglo-French spats when Margaret Thatcher was prime minister, Whitehall sources said Mr Blair was not prepared to take "lectures" from France and Luxembourg, which did much better than Britain out of the EU.

Mr Blair was stung into action by a demand from Mr Chirac that he should make a "gesture of solidarity for Europe" by giving up Britain's budget rebate. But Mr Chirac flatly rejected calls for France to give up generous EU farm subsidies.

Mr. Blair retorted:

"Britain has been making a gesture, because over the past 10 years, even with the British rebate, we have been making a contribution into Europe two and half times that of France. Without the rebate, it would have been 15 times as much. That is our gesture."

That Tony the Tiger has re-emerged is a good sign that Jack is a spent force. Gone, we hope, are the days when Jack demanded pap and got his pap. Chop chop.