The collective French mind apparently is vacationing on a beach. And it is not taking calls. Or watching the telly.

SARKOZY FIRES A BASTILLE DAY SALVO AT CHIRAC

PARIS jULY 14, 2005 (Telegraph) - Nicolas Sarkozy, once a protege of President Jacques Chirac, now his bitterest rival, has snubbed his one-time mentor by suggesting he scrap his Bastille Day television appearance.

Today's interview is a waste of time partly because most of France will be "at the beach", Mr Sarkozy, the interior minister and currently the favourite to succeed Mr Chirac, told the country's cabinet.

During its weekly breakfast meeting Mr Sarkozy, leader of the ruling UMP party founded by the president, calmly questioned the purpose of the interview, a 25-year-old ritual and one of the calendar's political highlights.

"Why do we perpetuate this tradition when there is nothing to report and the French already have their mind on their holidays?"

We are with Sarko on this. What could Jack possibly report that might fortify the French navel, that little knob of French tissue so precious to both the collective and particular French mind?

In recent days Mr Sarkozy has gone on the offensive. On Tuesday, he told Le Monde: "Is there a chance that France can solve the problems of 2005 with ideas that are 50 years old?"

This is all a little much for Jack loyalist and cabinet ornament, Michèle "France Forgets Nothing" Alliot-Marie:

"Those who a few weeks ago were bowing and scraping in front of the president would do better to tell themselves that there is nothing to gain from trying to weaken the president with such criticism," he [sic] said.

Mdm. Alliot-Marie is the French defense minister*. She believes the French military to be the second or third best in the world but isn't quite sure. Of the ranking. (Pause.) Or in what world either most likely. She is reported elsewhere to be a woman.

[All emphases added.]

* The dimmest bulb in the dark Chirac marquee®.

PFFT (What is this?): Internecine entertainment 4 | Rayonnement français 0