Nuclear maverick Jack apparently spends a good part of his day sitting by the phone waiting for world leaders and back-paged celebrities to ring him up.

CHIRAC FALLS FOR 'CANADIAN PM' RADIO PRANK

PARIS January 28, 2006 (Reuters) - French President Jacques Chirac took a call from Canada's newly elected leader only to find he had been fooled by a pair of radio pranksters known as the "Masked Avengers" [Justiciers masqués, radio hosts Marc-Antoine Audette and Sébastien Trudel on station CKOI] in Canada's French-speaking city of Montreal. Chirac's office confirmed that the French leader had taken a courtesy call on Thursday purportedly from Canada's new conservative Prime Minister-elect Stephen Harper.

"We chose Mr. Chirac because he is pretty famous, he is the president of France, and for us it was the chance to talk to a head of state," Audette, 25, said by telephone from Montreal.

When Audette complained of the poor press coverage Harper has had in France, Chirac said: "You cannot stop the newspapers from saying any old rubbish, it's true in France and it's true in Canada, so don't let yourself be impressed by that." [Le Monde: Vous ne pouvez pas empêcher les journaux de dire n'importe quoi. C'est vrai en France et c'est vrai au Canada.] "Exactly Mr. President, liberty, equality and fraternity. Amen," said Audette in his over-the-top accent, a response that earned the fake prime minister an invitation to make an official visit to France.

Chirac did not react once to Audette's outrageously thick French-Canadian accent as the two men discussed relations, including the name of Canada's new ambassador to France -- Richard Z. Sirois -- who unbeknownst to Chirac is a well-known French Canadian humorist.

This is much funnier than the report conveys. M. Audette's French is so thumpity-thump cadenced and manifestly comic as to be wholly incroyable. You can listen to the call here.

Consider for a moment that this is the head of the government that seeks to impose its will on the Iranians, to define Iraqi sovereignty, craft the future of Europe, put France to rights, and lecture the rest of us on this and that. Yes. Don't we wish Jack's perspicacity were a bit more on target.

Mr. Bush had the simple good manners to call Mr. Harper shortly after his win to congratulate him. Jack shot off one of those Félicitations du Palais de l'Elysée form letters so prized by newly elected functionaries of the Rotary International.

Pave veterans may recall that this is not the first time Jack's been duped. We do not here count the pranking Iranians.

PFFT (What is this?): Put-ons put through 5 | Inspiring confidence 0 | Rayonnement français 0