Dimple-wit Agnès Poirier at the Guardian writes an oh-so-cute report on the growing British expat population in France. Her figures are interesting. Her surmises ass-backwards.

FRANCE: HOW TO AVOID THE BRITS

March 21, 2006 (Guardian) - France's national statistics office has revealed that the full-time British population in France as a year-on-year percentage increase is now growing faster than the Maghreb communities; 46% for Brits, compared with 15% for North Africans. Incroyable, non?

It's official: there are now a total of 600,000 Brits who live and/or work in France.

Mdm. Poirier then concludes:

Given that emigration is supposedly associated with economic failure and that New Labour keeps telling us how successful Britain has become, one wonders what lies behind the British exodus to the continent. It couldn't be better quality of life, could it? Britain may be "working", but are the British happy? Could it be that the good health service, good public transport and social advantages found in continental Europe have played a part in the British emigres' decision? Monsieur Blair, are you listening?

We hardly think this or this or this are the quality-of-life draws Mdm. Poirier would have us believe.

Mdm. Poirier seems to think these British emigrees are Britain's "tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to breathe free, wretched refuse of Britain's teeming shore, the homeless, tempest-tost".* Clearly they are not.

They are moneyed-up from British prosperity. France -- with four times as much space per capita as Britain and with land cheap -- France is a bargain. And the British are bargain shopping in France.

* Apologies to Emma Lazarus.

PFFT (What is this?): Cheap France 3 | Rayonnement français 0

Awww, poor Damian.

Do I detect a hint of frustration here, jealousy even? tssk tssk.

Incidentally I spoke to a "non-moneyed-up" British gentleman recently, who had to flee the notorious English NHS pronto to receive a hip replacement in France. Even "moneyed-up" Charlie Watts has gone to that horrible country for throat cancer analysis. And before you start barking at me Damian, indeed many opt to go to the US as well...

So why would ces chers rosbeefs come to France since they, ahem...hate® the French and vice versa? Bargains and other factors. Factors far too simple for Damian to grasp without hyperventilating over his keyboard as he prepares his looong, laborious contre-attaque.

So why would ces chers rosbeefs [sic] come to France since they, ahem...hate® the French and vice versa? Bargains and other factors. Factors far too simple for Damian to grasp [blahblahblah] as he prepares his looong, laborious contre-attaque.
Posted by: zoomerx on March 30, 2006 04:32 AM

From the post: "...the British are bargain shopping in France."

Length of post: 281 words. (Including title, quoted material, footnote, and PFFT.)

Well, it's a good bet M. Zmx has never read Proust. More of an Asterix intellectual. M. Zmx, you see, does not read anything longer than a headline. His Weltanschauung is a clutter of hastily skimmed headlines.

Oh, yes and the many convenient acquaintances that materialize to act out that worldview.

DGB

Ah, Proust et son temps perdu... Articulate but extremely tedious to read. Not unlike Damian, but with more talent.

(what's wrong with Asterix?)