Diplomacy, when it is practiced as an art, speaks both plainly and with purpose. It artfully presses its interests as congenially as possible. It neither compliments nor insults where compliments and insults are not warranted. It does not alarm where alarm is not intended. When it is done well it is more realistic than wishful, more practical than fanciful, more guarded than effusive.

Then there is the French practice.

It begins with the tired trope of France's tireless hand held out. The other party is invited to grasp this boneless extremity and feel empathetic solidarity, le magnétisme français.

Our hand is held out to our American friends because the challenge affects us all. ... We have shown our constant willingness to put forward ideas to our American friends since the start of this tragic crisis. We have always told them what we thought was the right way.

Dom, then FM,
patronizing America
November 13, 2003 (Europe 1)

CHIRAC EXTENDS 'HAND OF FRIENDSHIP' TO PUTIN
PARIS March 18, 2005 (AFP)

CHIRAC EXTENDS HAND TO UP
BILATERAL TRADE WITH INDIA
February 21, 2006 (Indian Express)

Our aim has been political, not at all punitive. The hand is being held out, negotiations are possible.

M. Douste-Blazy,
on not threatening Iran with hurtful sanctions
PARIS March 10, 2006 (RTL/AFP)

Sometimes the hand-taker squeezes too hard and the French diplomat -- in an effort to regain his imperiled hand -- will say something extra special nice. Something like this appears to have been the case when M. Douste-Blazy* offered the French hand to Iran on Monday.

In the region there is of course a country such as Iran - a great country, a great people and a great civilization which is respected and which plays a stabilizing role in the region.

M. le Ministre,
soaping Mr. Mottaki, the Iranian FM
BEIRUT August 1, 2006 (Haaretz)

The Iranians, more confounded than flattered, hastened to reassure M. le Ministre that it is Iran's stated mission to destabilize the region. M. le Ministre was invited to visit Mr. Ahmadinejad's presidential site where several illuminating remarks to this effect can be found.

FRENCH FOREIGN MINISTER RECTIFIES IRAN COMMENT

PARIS August 3, 2006 (EJP) - Following complaints from the Jewish community, French foreign minister Philippe Douste-Blazy has retracted a controversial statement where he claimed Iran “played a stabilising role” in the Middle-East.

[Speaking on the Jewish Community Radio station on Wednesday, Douste-Blazy said,] "Iran has a part of responsibility in the current conflict in the region and that’s why it can play a role in finding a solution. It must contribute to pacify the region. The region must be stabilised.

"I told the Iranian foreign minister: 'Seize the hand held out to you by the international community. Otherwise you would fail to retie trust relations with the international community and there will be defiance followed by sanctions decided upon by the Security Council'."

Rephrasing his statement, Douste-Blazy said that he in fact meant Iran had "to prove it could have a positive role, otherwise it would have to face Security Council sanctions."

The foreign ministry issued a first rectified statement on Tuesday saying Iran "could have a stabilising role" rather than it "did have a stabilising role".

In his Wednesday statement Douste-Blazy said Iran "had to help pacify" the situation.

The minister refused to qualify Hezbollah as a terror group. "This is a time for action not for such classifications," he said.

We would caution M. le Ministre to attend to classifications before action, much like the competent surgeon who informs himself of the nature of the operation before he begins slicing things up.

* The dimmest bulb in the dark Chirac marquee™.

PFFT (What is this?): Getting it wrong 5 | Getting it right 2½ | Rayonnement français 0/¼