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October 29, 2006
Tips For Winning II: Ségolène Royal

Nothing sells newspapers like bad news.

And lately Ségo's campaign has been selling a lot of newspapers.

ROYAL LOSES HER COOL AFTER BOOS FROM PARTY MEMBERS

PARIS October 28, 2006 (Telegraph) - Miss Royal — derided by her rivals as a policy-light populist — yesterday failed to conceal her indignation after she was booed and whistled by about half the 6,000 Socialist party members who attended a candidates' debate in Paris.

"Socialists should not jeer each other. I don't understand what happened," Miss Royal told reporters after the rowdy meeting, which was closed to television cameras by prior arrangement.

... During the debate, on Thursday night, she struggled to make herself heard over boos and whistling, when she told the crowd: "The masses are not going to come back to us just because we are waving the party manifesto." ... She was booed at the Paris debate when she tried to calm the meeting by saying: "let's not be afraid of the people".

Uh-ho, every party-line Socialist knows the people are a very scary lot. Socialists are all for the people and want nothing but to improve their miserable lives. But the people are more inclined to embourgeoisement than Socialist imparadising. They cannot be trusted with their best interests. Little wonder that Mlle. Royal's crazy appeal was booed down.

Mlle. Royal's campaign is not in any real trouble. Although she has lost some 15 points since the competition announced itself, she still polls 57%, more than twice the support of her nearest rival. But that doesn't sell newspapers.

Pave wants to help all the présidentiables get nominated, so here are our simple winning tips for Mlle. Royal.

Candidate: Marie Ségolène Royal (née September 22, 1953 à Dakar, Senegal)
Party: Parti Socialiste
Standing: ~52%

royal_forehead.png
TOO MUCH FOREHEAD
Cover It Up Or Rent It Out

Tip No.1: Do not out-shout the rabble. They are not for quieting and they are not for turning. They are for rattling, in which they have succeeded here.

Tip No.2: Too much forehead. The great expanse of empty forehead suggests a great emptiness within.

Tip No.3: When delighted or smiling on the campaign, show the uppers and the lowers. Jaw-dropping is déclassé.

PFFT (What is this?): Crowd control 0 | Looking presidential 1 | Rayonnement français 0

posted by Damian at 09:30 AM
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