Recently a French correspondent took us to task for our post on the demise of French Halloween and its correlative anti-Americanism. It was suggested that the post was frivolous, that "Seemingly, French at this moment have other issues to deal with."

Yes. Yes, they do. Issues like this and this and this and this, to name but a few.

We took our French correspondent's scold to heart and looked to see where France was making a difference in the world, what was occupying the French conscience, the important stuff, that befitting a nation of gloomy, overly medicated philosophes.

GNOME LIBERATION HIDE-OUT DISCOVERED IN LIMOUSIN

LIMOGES, Nov 1, 2006 (AFP) - Some 79 garden gnomes snatched by a so-called gnome liberation group [Front de Libération des Nains de Jardin, FLNJ], were discovered Wednesday along the banks of a stream in the central Limousin region, police said.

The gnomes were hidden in some underbrush with a banner that read, "gnome mistreated, gnome liberated", police said.

A national garden gnome liberation operation was announced on the group's website in honor of the November 1 French holiday, All Saint's Day [a government-recognized religious holiday in secular France].

FRONT DE LIBÉRATION DES NAINS DE JARDIN
Pranks As An Allegory Of Political Impuissance

Last month 86 gnomes were found in the yard of a Limoges high school. Others, stolen last summer, were discovered along the edge of a swimming pool on the outskirts of the city.

The FLNJ plays its pranks without a single arrest to date that we could find.

PFFT (What is this?): Applying the deep think to the French lawn ornament situation 3 | Rayonnement français 0

close this pathetic site already. you guys were lost in the fog when you were clamoring for the iraq war three years ago. how did that work out, for ya? man, you guys were right on the money with that one. when are you gonna enlist and drop this ridiculous charade?

Mr. Blow,

You seem to be lost.

We understand you feel threatened outside of your group-think huddle. Ah, but here you are, all informed about Iraq and bravely posting not on topic, not an argument, but plain confoundment.

Iraq is working out like most wars. It is a struggle, it is fought hard, and everyday is a battle. Of course, you are a NYT-general-cum-headline-historian-cum-pundit and everything is clear to you: if liberating Iraq lasts longer than the extremity of your attention span, well, then it is lost, no hope, can't possibly preserver, oh God, what are we to do! Yes, history should have no greater motions than your limited notions.

How sad for you that Pave has not gone dark. Thank you for dropping by and wishing us ill behind a phony name and a phony e-mail address. Good luck with the majuscules in your next post. We understand some people find the shift key tricky.

DGB

you know what? you're right. we just need another few hundred thousand more innocent civilian deaths. then history will know how serious we were about finding those weapons of mass destruction. oh, wait...

by the way, i found the shift key AND IT WORKS FUCKING GREAT.
NOW HURRY ALONG TO BAGHDAD, CHICKENHAWKS.

It looks like Pave has acquired a new fire-breathing donkey in the person of Mr. Blow.

Having found the shift key, Mr. Blow now types all caps. Mr. Blow is an either-or donkey, either no caps or all caps. The challenges of majuscule management continue to elude him.

Aside from the obvious irrelevance of his comments, we note Mr. Blow has taken pains that Pave not overlook his latest best effort by cut-and-pasting the identical spew above as two additional entries. These have been deleted as the one entry is enough to convey Mr. Blow's consternation.

The Management