UPDATE 03.11.07: Yes, today is the day.

SCANDAL-PLAGUED JACQUES CHIRAC NOT SEEKING RE-ELECTION

PARIS March 11, 2007 (Alaska Report) - In a long-awaited announcement, French President Jacques Chirac formally announced Sunday he will not seek re-election after 12 years in the nation's highest office.

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It's a mistake. When you stay in power for too long in our democracies, one always ends up getting a huge kick up the backside, not to mention all the snubs you receive.

Jack,
president for now of France,
confiding he would not seek a second presidential term
The Tragedy of the President, Franz-Olivier Giesbert

CHIRAC TO ANNOUNCE ELECTION PLANS
March 8, 2007 (BBC)

[Huge excitement builds. News wires go crazy with Jack-chat. Punters refuse bets over €10.]

Will he? Won't he?

DÉCLARATION TÉLÉVISÉE DU PRÉSIDENT DE LA RÉPUBLIQUE

PALAIS DE L'ELYSÉE [sic] Paris le 11 mars 2007 - Le Président de la République, M. Jacques CHIRAC, s'adressera aux Français le dimanche 11 mars à 20H00 [3:00P EDT].

Today is the day! Will Jack announce a bold presidential bid? Will an adoring French public reward the sheer audacity?

It could be the beginning of an exciting era of more-of-the-same or it could be a last and deeply personal disappointment for the last king of France.

PRESIDENT CHIRAC SET TO END 'GREAT ADVENTURE'
March 9, 2007 (Irish Independent)
(Registration required.)

Ah. [Polite feigned surprise.] No. It appears he will not.

CHIRAC BOWS OUT [SIC] AMID NEW FRENCH REVOLUTION

PARIS March 11, 2007 (Guardian) - The curtain call will be brief. But Jacques Chirac's 10-minute televised speech tonight - officially slated as the 74-year-old President's announcement that he will not run for a third term - marks a historic generational, class and gender shift in French politics.

Nothing official that we could find on the Élysée site (see official announcement above). But the Guardian doesn't bother about details when it has its teeth deep into biggest Sunday morning non-story since, well, last Sunday. Why the speech is yet to be given, and the Guardian already can report the outcome in the present tense.*

... The change is, as ever in French politics, subtle. But observers point to key recent events - including the No-vote to the European constitution in May 2005, the riots in French suburbs that autumn and the student protests in the spring of 2006 against the Prime Minister, Dominique de Villepin, and his 'first employment contract' - as signals from the electorate of a desperate cry for new dynamism.

Ah, ah, ah, [Slaps forehead. Aufklärung.] so that is what people mean when they talk about French subtlety. (Here is another.) Turning Europa on its ear, putting France to flame, and voiding French law by mob rule. This is why the Guardian is such a good read, as we never would have caught on to these reactive subtleties without benefit of a Guardian cliché.

Well, we've a tenner and are off to make some sure money before the telecast.

* The Guardian has not always been so clairvoyant.

PFFT (What is this?): Guardian sure bet 4 | Rayonnement français 0